I do believe in faeries

So we have a french bed, and as romantic as that might sound, it is nothing but troubles. First when we moved in, the mattress on this French box spring had an odor that... well lets just say we were not gonna sleep on it. So the land lord (Livio) agreed to buy us a new mattress. But, he bought the wrong size. Turns out, there is no Italian mattress that fits a French box spring (an so our trouble begins) He chose to buy the mattress one size smaller than the box spring so the mattress would not hang over the edge. Thoughtful of him, right? (the one he choose was nearly 100 Euros cheaper than the size we wanted) Well, needless to say, we did not even take it out of its bag. We knew it was to small. So we began looking for a new mattress. I found the store from where Livio purchased the baby bear sized mattress, and asked if we could switch to a larger size and would they pick up the old one while delivering the new one? They agreed to do the switch, and credit us the amount paid for the little mattress, but would not deliver. Only after my lovely wife visited the same store did they agree to everything. They delivered a new mattress (of the proper size) we paid them the difference in price between the two sizes, and everyone was happy. BUT, I think I paid the delivery man twice what I should have. I was home that day to receive the delivery, and tried to convince the men to carry the mattress upstairs to the bedroom. When this did not work, and after I had made several trips up and down... talking and exchanging paperwork, it is quite possible that I paid the fellow twice. Which means we paid 100 Euro for our upgraded mattress instead of 50. *sigh* None the less, we had our new mattress. We plopped it down on the French speaking box spring, and it was too big. As Livio had predicted, it hung over each edge. Now the good news in all this is that it only hangs over 5cm on each side. Not enough to endanger us as we sleep.. so no worries right? Well, here is an interesting side note. The walls in our bedroom are not square, that is to say... the wall against which our french box spring lives, is crooked. So when aligning an over sized mattress on a french box spring against a crooked Italian wall, one has the choice between spacing the mattress evenly with 5cm overhanging on each side, thus creating a gap between the wall and mattress on the right side capable of swallowing pillows, or to fix the mattress against the wall smoothly, thus unbalancing the overhang so that sitting or rolling to the left side of the bed becomes equivalent to stepping on a tiger trap in the Amazon. Ah, the fun in our bed never stops! Personally I prefer the tiger trap. If one carefully sets the mattress in between the two positions I just mentioned.. then carefully stacks the pillows over the gap, and arranges the bed cover just right, you can create the illusion that not only our mattress fits its box spring properly, but our wall looks straight. This leads to even more excitement the next morning when Brandie has stolen 3/4 of the bed sheets, and I am sleeping naked, wedged between wall and mattress, shivering with no covers. OK Ok ok... I am exaggerating all this a bit.. sometimes I wear pajamas to bed, and Brandie only steals 1/2 the covers. Oh, and speaking of refrigerators... you know you own a short fridge when the coffee-maker machine, thing... (I don't know how to say it when it makes Italian coffee) is on TOP of the fridge, and Brandie can still reach it, and make coffee with it! I am not saying that we have a small fridge, we have plenty of space, its just that now I have no excuse not to clean it daily, since everyone can see on top of it.